May 5, 2010

musings on issues

I have been radio station shopping since my favorite one fired all its dj's and switched to all nineties music. One day I was happily listening and the next day it was gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I'm kind of angry about this and considering writing an email to the station but let's be real, I'm too lazy for such things. While perusing new stations, I noticed that there is a dj named Sandy Beach. I realized this is the second woman I've met/heard of with the name Sandy Beach. Important questions that then occurred to me: What woman would think this is ok? And why are there two? 

Other important questions I have: How many servings of fruits and vegetables will balance out french fries at every meal? (this balance is alas, unattainable) and, have any important strides been made in robotics? I want to be ready to protect myself from artificial intelligence deciding it can run my life better than I can.  Although, from further pondering, maybe A.I. deserves to take over the running of my life. I mean, I did recently hit myself in the nose while reaching up to adjust my hair, hard enough to bring tears to my eyes, even though I'm quite familiar with where my nose is and how to avoid hitting it. It was so shocking. I had no idea what had just happened. I thought maybe someone had punched me but then I realized that no, it was just me doing it to myself. So there's that.

Oh, and I also spilled glitter all over my face yesterday, which made me look like a hooker (as glitter does, unless you're a pre-teen and then you just look like a pre-teen). I try to avoid glittering my face so as not to look like either of those two, but I was tricked. It was a new eyeshadow that looked normal on the outside but had hidden glitter inside! When I brushed it on my eyelids, the shadow itself stayed in its proper space, but the previously unseen glitter launched itself to all corners of my face. Perma Glitter would not budge, even after washing. I don't know whether this is proof of my own incompetence at life, or proof that A.I. has chosen to reveal itself in the form of glittery makeup. Either way, I can tell A.I. will be hostile. It's a good thing that it hasn't quite filtered down to paper shredders because I was digging paper out of the blades yesterday and I could have easily lost a finger. I mean, just look what A.I. did to my face with the limited tool of glitter! 

I bet A.I.'s next step is to take over the radio waves for brainwashing purposes. And clearly Sandy Beach is a spy, because obviously only a robot would think humans would fall for such a name.

If you think I'm entirely ridiculous, you can go read the Blogger Brawl instead and vote for Julia again. If you think I'm a literary genius, well, so is Julia, so go read and vote anyway.


Jen Adair 5/5/10, 8:46 PM  

I laughed so hard about the glitter! I am so sorry that happened but really it is quite funny. the preteen image brought me back to middle school.

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